sábado, 29 de novembro de 2008

Intervalo....

Today my brain kind of stopped.
Right there...in that instant...
[when i saw you...]
when the world started turning again over [inside] under
suspended in your eyes...

Vida em câmara lenta,
Oito ou oitenta,
Sinto que vou emergir,
Já sei de cor todas as canções de amor,
Para a conquista partir.
So i stayed there...like a statue
with That smile,
[the one i promised myself i would not use again...]

Diz que tenho sal,
Não me deixes mal,
Não me deixes…

No livro que eu não li,

No filme que eu não vi,
Na foto aonde eu não entrei,
Noticia do jornal
O quadro minimal… Sou eu…

When you said hello,
[i realized i was holding my breath...
and i had to release it]

i tried to speak...
but words were caught in my throat.

Vida á média rés,
Levanta os pés
Não vás em futebóis, apesar…
Do intervalo, que é quando eu falo,
Para não me incomodar.
i just thought that time could stop
and i would be glad to be around you
[for as long as i could...]

Diz que tenho sal,
Não me deixes mal,
Não me deixes…

No livro que eu não li,
No filme que eu não vi,
Na foto aonde eu não entrei,
Noticia do jornal
O quadro minimal… Sou eu…

Ohhhh
i do remember what i said,
the logic of all those thoughts...
the wall that i built...
[but they are being carried away
by this current of not-so-weird-feelings]


Não me deixes já
Historia que não terminou
Não me deixes…

No livro que eu não li,
No filme que eu não vi,
Na foto aonde eu não entrei,
Noticia do jornal
O quadro minimal… Sou eu…
I also recognize [quite well]
this pounding of my heart,
this urge of being near you...
this odd and twisted tray of thoughts
[that somehow always lead to you...]

No livro que eu não li,
No filme que eu não vi,
Na foto aonde eu não entrei,
Noticia do jornal
O quadro minimal… Sou eu…



And in this movie-serie-short-play-drama-comedy-terror-and-aventure,
that is my life...
i discovered that there was this big-and-yet-so-small break
i almost didn't notice...

and as you smiled...
my movie stopped to let you in...

segunda-feira, 24 de novembro de 2008

Surely...easy does it... [if you just] Give a little bit...[but that's ok, 'cause] Oh yeah, we gotta sing!!!

This was one of those days...
One of the ones that make you think...
that make you want to disappear...
Surely the past is gone...
right?

Surely there's a way I could please you

Only in your past, lie the tears
Surely there's a day you can say went your way
Some illusion you can keep through the years.

Only if I lied could I love you
Nothing of our lives could we share
Only could we try to get by on a sigh
Just because, just this once, I was there




This was one of those days...
I just felt that something was missing,
but i don't think i want to know what...
Calm down...
Easy does it isn't it?
just don't think...

And if my heart's had wings,
I'd be the bird that sings,
I'd fly where love isn't shy
And everyone is willing to try.
And if we had the time,
And time's so hard to find,
I can't believe what you say,
Start sending those shadows away,
And if you know who you are,
You are your own superstar,
And only you can shape the movie that you make,
So when the lights disappear;
And only the silence disappears,
And only the silence is near,
Watch yourself; easy does it, easy while you wait.

And if you know who you are,
You are your own superstar
And only you can shape the music that you make.
So when the crowds disappear,
And only the silence is here
Watch yourself, easy does it, easy does it, easy while you wait.


I am quite afraid...
What IF i found something that i didn't want to find...
like a little seed planted in somewhere hidden,
that is going to make my life a lot more complicated...
Cause when i give a little bit of room to that kind of feeling...
i know i am quite doomed...

Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me
Give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
Send a smile and show you care

I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
So give a little bit
Give a little bit of your time to me
See the man with the lonely eyes
Take his hand, you'll be surprised

Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit of my love for you
Now's the time that we need to share
So find yourself, we're on our way back home

Going home
Don't you need to feel at home?
Oh yeah, we gotta sing


But yet life goes on... doesn't it?
Anyway we gotta sing...
be it rock and roll,
love songs
or the blues...
oh yeah, we gotta sing...
'cause music...
music is what this is all about..
.


Surely...easy does it... [if you just] Give a little bit...[but that's ok, 'cause] Oh yeah, we gotta sing!!!

segunda-feira, 10 de novembro de 2008

sem música...

Hoje estava no laboratório a preparar uma placa e de repente alguém pára uma máquina de PCR perto de mim...
e o barulho de fundo
que me estava a macerar o espírito, mas-que-eu-não-sabia-que-realmente-estava,
pára também...
e sinto um alívio gigantesco...
aquele ruído contínuo estava, efectivamente, a consumir espaço de, por assim dizer, processamento,
e quando o silêncio se instalou...
senti uma deliciosa sensação de vazio sonoro, de calma imperturbável...

às vezes na vida é mesmo assim...
temos uma quantidade de coisas a falar, acontecer, a ver, para olhar...
no fundo, a consumir-nos...

depois...
há um momento de pausa...
um dia à tarde em que nos pomos a arrumar coisas velhas...
em que o ruído de fundo desaparece, e temos tempo para pensar...

se calhar foi isso sabes...
foi o ter parado e pensado...
foi as horas em que vislumbrei relances do passado,
em que reorganizei o caos que morava em mim...
e nessa pausa silenciosa, nesse compasso de espera...
apercebi-me que me tinha estado a enganar, ou melhor...
estava iludida...

percebi que na verdade não é assim tão importante sabes?
não és assim tão importante...
fazes-me falta...
mas há pessoas que fazem mais...
não é que não sinta alguma coisa,
não é que não fique até mais tarde só para te/me fazer sorrir,
ou que não queira estar contigo...

mas já não tenho capacidade, ou melhor, vou ser honesta, coração...
já não tenho coração para estar à espera de quem nunca disse que vinha...

é como tocar a guitarra...
no início doem os dedos de magoarmos tantas vezes a mesma zona,
mas eventualmente, caleja...
[se calhar o coração funciona assim...
magoa-se tantas vezes que já não há maneira de realmente quebrar a parede que construímos...
]

e quando o ruído passou,
quando a tempestade amainou,
e eu analisei bem a situação,
vi que na verdade,
não temos o mesmo compasso,
não ouvimos a mesma música,
não falamos a mesma linguagem...
não vivemos o mesmo tempo...
somos diferentes naquilo que nos podia unir...

percebi que não tenho música para ti...
e sem acompanhamento,
como é que vou entrar nessa dança insensata
que parece tornar os sonhos realidade
e as impossibilidades, questões triviais....

sabes que as músicas só fazem sentido tocadas a duas mãos?
mas as duas tem de tocar uma melodia concordante,
ou pelo menos tentar....

quinta-feira, 6 de novembro de 2008

Crashing...

Crawling quietly under my skin,
I’m not sure where to begin.
You see, I didn’t notice at first,
that you had given me this curse.

Twisted mind you have,
for you don’t even understand,
what kind of evil tragedy
has now befallen over me.

Because when I looked at you,
my eyes played a trick on me.
For you seemed to shine so bright
that you made my heart sing.

Now there’s a smile popping from my lips
and a lightness in my steps.
There’s a bubble of unexplainable joy,
bursting and thrashing in my chest.

Time seems to drag forever
and life seems so dull,
till the moment when we’re together,
when everything is made of gold.

It’s not even a secret, you see,
there’s not much for me to do...
It’s no big mystery,
I am crashing into you...

segunda-feira, 3 de novembro de 2008

Somewhere I belong

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong



fucking long and useless and trashing day
but in the end of it...
i talked to you
and it helped to put
the past day away

domingo, 2 de novembro de 2008

cya then...

Today a friend left...

i thought lots of things that i would like to tell you...
i rehearsed lots of imaginary phrases to say,
hundred of words that would explain what you meant to me...
how what i felt initially changed and what you are to me now...
how i am going to miss you bugging me,
and asking if everything is alright,
the way you put music just for me
and the humongous quantity of things you have taught me...

as i hugged you and was trying hard not to cry...
i thought of all the things i wanted to say...
i opened my mouth,
but in the end my voice faltered...

i know it doesn't matter really...
you somehow know it all...


i'll content myself with a
cya then, that masks a farewell,
that is in truth a big-sad-expected-[but-doesn't-hurt-less-because-of-it]-broken-hearted-hard-to-say-goodbye

thruth to say,
it all sums up in one single phrase
that is all i need to say,
and you need to hear:
i am going to miss you...

the rest, the rest is between you, me and the starlight